aha!

hahaha.. if this is true then i think all the guys in the world are 'boys' ;p
wait, but actually.. hmm.. there're 'men' out there, i actually know one..
umm, but lemme keep this thought to myself :)

so true..

randomness

either way i'm still beautiful ;p

exception

i'm dying for this!

barriers

i believe everybody has barriers blocking themselves with outside world, invisible barrier.
some may only have one or two. the less barrier people have the more open they are.
i think i have quite a lot barriers.
i built walls to feel safe. to not get hurt easily. even sometimes i feel lonely inside it.
there're times when i open the door to let people come inside my barrier. to let them know me, understand me.
if you know me as cool, not much words, confident person, then you're still completely outside the walls.
if you know me as a always laugh, cheerful, and confident person, you just get in to the second wall.
the third and fourth walls you can find out by knowing me more.
the fifth wall is completely locked.
yeah, overall i have five barriers. how many do you have?

a lil bit encouragement

i'm losing myselftrying to compete with everyone elseinstead of just being mei don't know where to turni've been stuck in this routinei need to change my waysinstead of always being weak
i don't want to be afraidi wanna wake up feeling beautiful today and know that i'm okaycause everyones perfect in their usual ways.so seei just wanna believe in me
the mirror can liecause it can't show you what's insideand it can tell you your full of liesit's amazing what you can hidejust by putting on a smile
i'm quickly finding outi'm not about to break downnot todayi guess i always knewthat i had all the strengthto make it through
so see now i believe in me

-demi lovato's believe in me

desperate post

this is me being so desperate and stress.
if you don't like to read negatives, hopeless words, don't read this.
when you're waiting on the traffic light to turn green or when you're waiting for the chance to cross the street at 5pm traffic, have you ever had the of just throwing yourself out to the road? i had that idea today.
'how if i just walk now? three steps. just three small steps.'
crazy rite? of course i didn't take that three steps, if i did, you won't see this post.
i'm so stressed! assignment due date is so close but i can't move on because i can't submit my answer! damn perdisco keeps showing error error!
i have tried three times! three times doing long questions that require at least 1 and a half hour to finish! i almost memorise the numbers now!
sigh...
well, the horrible day hasn't ended yet.
just now, i just had more horrible thought.
'should've just thrown myself to the traffic just now'
even myself can't believe this idea can pop up too..
i'm so disappoint and sad.. and i can't tell you the reason, but obviously not about uni or study, i'm not that into study that can make me regret of not being dead. hm? sounds weird. lol.
well, there's always something that you won't know from a person. everybody has a secret.
and this is my secret. i keep it to myself so i can still be myself.
i'm so tired..
well, hope your day is better than me.
and hope tomorrow can be better..